School Refusal

Updated: 12/12/24

Created: 29/03/2022, Bright Futures @Ruils

Who by? Bright Futures @Ruils

Why might it be of interest?
School refusal is a difficult topic – and has been known by different names over the years. It can be difficult to find information about school refusal and the reasons for it as it is very often not recognised for what it is and put down to poor behaviour, etc.

This is not an exhaustive account. We simply googled the term ‘school refusal’ and then pulled together information from websites where we felt the information was relevant and well explained.

What is school refusal?

School refusal is the consistent act of a child or teen to get out of attending school. School refusal is different than truancy. While truancy is a deliberate behaviour, school refusal is the symptom of underlying mental health issues.

Psychology Today states that, “This phenomenon, known as school refusal, isn’t a behaviour problem. You can’t punish your child out of school refusal. Instead, it’s a form of anxiety that demands treatment.” In fact, 2-5% of students refuse school each year due to school refusal brought on by anxiety or depression.

(https://www.shepherdshillacademy.org/resources/school-refusal/ 01/03/2022)

School refusal is a term that is used to describe a child’s experience of missing school due to emotional distress. At one point, school refusal was called school phobia. However, the term changed to reflect the fact that a child may not be afraid of school, but that there may great deal of stress or anxiety related to attending school.

If a teen is refusing to go to school and if there is an emotional reason behind it, parents might begin by uncovering the source of a teen’s anxiety or emotional distress. Reasons why a teen won’t go to school include:

facing a bully
not understanding a subject/failing
rejection from peers
the presence of an anxiety disorder or other psychological disorder
family conflicts or problems at home
physical illness

(https://paradigmtreatment.com/teen-anxiety-school-refusal/ 01/03/2022)

For many of our young people, school isn’t just a place they don’t like much: it is a place they hate. It causes them daily fear, anxiety, panic attacks, poor mental health and exhaustion. It can be a place they don’t feel safe, a place of bullying, mocking, and immense stress.

Think about it: as adults we have all had jobs we dislike, but after a few years we would have said ‘enough’ and got out. School doesn’t offer that option: it’s a 14 year ‘job’ from which you can’t resign. For anyone living under that daily stress, it takes its toll on physical health, emotional wellbeing, and mental health that will eventually culminate in illness of some form.

What can you do?

Listen to your young person
Take it seriously – something is wrong in their world
If your teenager isn’t ready to talk find non-verbal ways of communicating with them. Emojis work great for daily check-ins on how they are feeling; ask them to text you song lyrics that explain how they feel right now; ask them about bullying incidents; if they will let you hug them – hug them a lot (if they don’t like that, find another way of reassuring them that you have got their back).
Work with school
Counselling: Any form of intense anxiety or fear needs to be bought into the open when the teenager is ready
Don’t push too far too fast. Education is often put on a pedestal above mental health: if your teenager had mumps you wouldn’t send them to school: if your teenager is refusing school because they are feeling unwell emotionally and mentally – let’s wait until they are feeling a little better before we return them to it. Before a return is considered the underlying issues, fears and anxieties need to be addressed otherwise the young person will be back to square one after their first day. They won’t be learning anything until their brain feels able to concentrate which means making them feel safe, calm and able to concentrate. It might take some time – be ready for the long haul. It is the duty of the school to provide education at home if the young person is off school long-term due to physical or emotional wellbeing.

(https://www.youthscape.co.uk/services/youth-work-news/school-refusal 01/03/2022)

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/attendance-problems/parents

Parent group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiarefusal/

Further reasons a young person may refuse to go to school:

low self esteem
trauma
the environment itself
finding the work difficult, or having problems concentrating
finding school exhausting, especially if they are dealing with mental health issues
feeling pressure to get good exam results
difficult relationships with friends and friendship groups
not feeling accepted or that they ‘fit in’
not getting on with teachers
feeling pressured to be the same and learn like everyone else
experiencing or witnessing bullying
feeling unsupported and not seen as an individual
additional needs such as dyslexia not being recognised
feeling average or no good in a class of high-achieving peers