Mobile Phone Protocols

Why might it be of interest?
Many of our young people have their own mobile phones but do they understand how to stay safe when using a mobile and etiquette when calling or texting people?

Getting these things wrong can lead to restrictions or removal of the phone if we don’t have any other ideas. But it shouldn’t need to lead to that. There are ideas on many websites and we’ve also talked to the Down’s Syndrome Association to compile the following document to help you support your young person use their phone appropriately.

Many of our young people will have a mobile phone.  It can bring a lot of benefits to both the young person and to you but using it well and safely can be a challenge for our young people.

There is no single answer to that but we do have a few suggestions that might help.

Teach your young person

There are quite a few ‘teaching points’ to cover and it might help the young person to have some guidance (rules) that they can check before they message or call another person.

The key here is to understand that our young people will not just understand what is good mobile phone protocol – it will have to be actively taught, repeatedly taught and reinforced – in some instances with written guidance.

It’s impossible to cover all potential scenarios but here are some of the more likely  ones:

• What to do if they want to repeat message or call
  • You might agree a maximum limit or number within a timeframe
  • You might agree that it’s OK to repeat message/call some people but not others – but still within agreed limits
  • You might need a specific list – names

• Agree who they can message/call and how often they can repeat message/call.  Be specific – 3 times a day, once a day, once a week.  This will be different depending on the relationship and what the other party is happy with

• What to do if they haven’t had a reply within an agreed timeframe – this could be different for different people:
  • for example it may be reasonable for the yp to expect to hear back from mum, dad, siblings within an hour but for friends you might say a day, or the next day

• Understanding that people don’t always reply immediately

• Understanding that calling and messaging is two way

• Guidance on what to do if they have repeat called or messaged and don’t hear back
  • Stop
  • Ask mum or dad

• If someone asks them not to call or message then they shouldn’t contact that person

• What sort of words or phrases suggest that someone doesn’t want to continue messaging/calling

• Understanding that it’s OK to share lots of messages with some people but not with others:
  • If family and friends are replying then it’s OK to keep messaging
  • But it’s not OK to keep messaging a support worker beyond messages that are necessary, eg arrangements of where to meet
  • You may need to be specific here with a list of names

• There are times when it is not appropriate to use a phone for personal messages or calls
  • eg at work or college – this applies to the young person and other people

• What is too early in the day and too late in the day

Not everyone can follow guidance

• Some young people may choose not to follow guidance
• Others may not understand the importance of the guidance

This is going to need a lot of parent/carer support to get the young person ‘on side’.

There may need to be consequences – within reason – for breaking the rules.

Give the young person something else to do

Having something to do instead of messaging / calling is good for behaviour support – as it is when we’re trying to limit or change any unwanted behaviour

What else can you do?

• Set a budget limit that they can’t go over – for data, number of messages/calls (not sure if this is still possible!)
• Block unknown numbers
• Set the phone up with known numbers
• Spot check
• Use parental control programs
• Consider a more basic phone with limited use beyond calls and messages
• Agree what the phone can be used for and which apps they can have on their phone
• Lead by example – so if you have a rule about no phones while eating you have to follow it as well!