Let’s Talk PANTS

Why might it be of interest?

Teaching a young person personal boundaries can be tricky.  It’s not likely to be a one-off conversation and it may be difficult to ensure that they understand what’s OK and what’s not OK when it comes to their body.

The above site tells you what the PANTS rules are, good times to talk PANTS, and offers a range of resources to buy that might help your young person understand what this is all about.

The basics are below.

What are the PANTS rules?

Privates are private

Your underwear covers up your private parts and no one should ask to see or touch them. Sometimes a doctor, nurse or family members might have to. But they should always explain why, and ask you if it’s OK first. Remember, what’s in your pants belongs only to you.

Always remember your body belongs to you

Your body belongs to you. No one should ever make you do things that make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. If someone asks to see, or tries to touch you, underneath your underwear, say ‘NO’ – and tell someone you trust and like to speak to.

No one has the right to make you do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. If somebody does make you do something, it is never your fault. Even if the person who has made you feel uncomfortable, has told you it is your fault.

No means no

No means no and you always have the right to say ‘no’ – even to a family member or someone you love. You’re in control of your body and the most important thing is how YOU feel. If you want to say ‘no’, it’s your choice.

Talk about secrets that upset you

There are good and bad secrets. Good secrets can be things like surprise parties or presents for other people. Bad secrets make you feel sad, worried or frightened. You should always talk to a safe adult who you trust about a bad secret or anything that doesn’t feel right.

Speak up, someone can help

Talk about stuff that makes you worried or upset. If you ever feel sad, anxious or frightened you should talk to a safe adult who you trust. This doesn’t have to be a family member. It can also be a teacher or a friend’s parent – or even Childline.

Talking should not get you into trouble, even if somebody has told you it will. If something has happened that makes you feel uncomfortable, it is never your fault.

When’s the right time to talk PANTS?

Every family is different, and when and where you have these conversations may depend on your child’s age, or how grown up they are – it’s all about whatever feels natural for you and them.

Some examples of times you can talk PANTS are:

• After school – If they’ve had a lesson on personal relationships or Talk PANTS at school, ask them what they remember when they get home.
• Bathtime – you could start a conversation when you’re running your child’s bath, or helping them get dressed.
• Car journeys – this can be a great time to talk, and your child will have plenty of time to ask questions if they need.
• Reading our new PANTS storybook together.
• Singing – Sing along to our PANTS song with Pantosaurus!
• Swimming – A great time to say that what’s covered by swimwear is private.
• Walking – Walking home from school, or a weekend walk to the shops can help you both feel more at ease as you stroll and chat.
• Watching TV – If a TV show features a sensitive storyline, you can encourage them to talk about anything that upsets them.